For me transcranial magnetic stimulation was nothing short of a miracle since I had already lost hope of recovering from depression, I had already tried all the pills available through the national health care system and also some my parents purchased for me, but even though I started each treatment with a lot of faith, this faith disappeared upon seeing that everything remained the same.
I didn’t have any desires or goals or the will to live. Sometimes the mere act of opening my eyes in the morning was dreadful for me, I felt useless and I slept all day so that time would pass by and so that I would not feel so miserable. I cried everyday; the anguish was so strong that I considered doing the worst, even taking my life so as not to feel it. All of my thoughts were negative, I thought I was going to go crazy, I was hospitalized three times in the psychiatric ward of Hospital Calderón Guardia, because of this I could not study either, I spent the entire day sedated but the worst part was that I could not envision my future; I had sunk into a hole from which I believed I would never be able to get out of.
Until I had the opportunity to learn about this therapy, when I started it I was tired after so much struggling, days later I felt I already had more energy to do things, I didn’t sleep all day any more. The sessions went by and in the final session I was extremely frightened since this was the only way to get better and I was scared that it might not be the case.
With time I simply forgot how the Carolina of before was since now I had goals, the will to live and I wanted to recover all the time that I had lost; I was socializing more, I returned to the university and continued being just as intelligent and hard-working as before. Now I am happy and I give thanks to God and to the doctors for returning my life to me, it sounds strange but I was reborn. Now every day I have the will to do something new, now I don’t remember what it was like to constantly cry anymore.
My life underwent a radical transformation; people were surprised to see the change in me. With time they lowered my medication, I don’t tire of thanking God for the opportunity that He has given me, now I am different and I know how to face problems with more strength.
Thanks to Doctor Jorge León for all of his advice, I will never forget it because it has helped a lot and thanks for the strength that he gave me in those very difficult moments of my life.